Over the past 18 years, I’ve noticed a spike in workplace disclosures of domestic abuse in late February. There is not a huge amount of empirical data around the timing of this, unlike other times of the year such as the start of the new year. However, I’ve often wondered whether it may be in part due to a delayed reaction to incidents over the festive holidays followed by Valentine’s Day a month later.
In this article, we reshare some red flag signs workplaces should be alert to as potential signs someone is living with domestic abuse.
Both men and women from any background may be living with, or survivors of, domestic abuse.
Like Christmas and New Year time, the risk of post-separation abuse can also be increased in the period around Valentine’s Day, particularly around narcissistic abuse traits whereby the perpetrator demands attention, or exhibits behaviours like love bombing, showering the survivor with gifts and affection in order to draw them back into the abuse with promises that “things will change”.
This makes the survivor remember how it felt at the beginning, before they became aware that these behaviours were abuse. Abusers never change, they may superficially change for a period to gain back control and draw survivors into the cycle again. Going back often leaves the survivor feeling guilt and shame, affecting their self-esteem and self-worth, and so the cycle continues.
Employers and business owners therefore should be alert to changes in behaviour and other red flag signs of potential abuse at this time of year. Signs of non-physical abuse are rarely obvious and often remain well hidden by the survivor, through fear of stigma, not being believed, or the consequences of ‘outing’ the perpetrator.
In these circumstances, work can be a safe place. It’s also an environment where colleagues play an important role in spotting signs and patterns of potential abuse, particularly over time.
Some red flags to look out for in work are:
- Increased working from home or taking absences from work
- Extreme tiredness or looking like they’ve not been sleeping, particularly where they have returned from leave
- Anxiety or depression
- Loss of confidence and self-esteem
- Becoming increasingly withdrawn or isolated
- Apologising often, for no apparent reason
- Change or decline in performance
- Reduced status or stagnating career progression where they were previously high flyers
- Broken equipment
- Checking phone and always having to take certain phone calls
- Missed deadlines
- Talking about grandiose gestures and receiving lavish gifts
- Mentioning not seeing friends and family much (or at all) anymore
- Mentioning not spending as much time with children as they would like to or used to
- Physical injuries
Glass Ceilings Change Management provides advice to employers and business owners on how to respond sensitively and safely to disclosures about domestic abuse. This includes approaching sensitive conversations. We also provide urgent support with Serious Incident Responses.
Laura Evans, CEO. 13th February, 2026